


Not Your Fault

by Liyyah



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Extended Scene, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4394000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyyah/pseuds/Liyyah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles tells Lydia about Donovon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I write Stydia fic now. But last night's episode gave me a lot of feelings so this happened.

“What was that?” Lydia asked as Stiles threw on his jacket.

“What was what?” he replied, refusing to meet her gaze.

It seemed that he hadn’t been able to hide his pain as well as he thought. But then again, Lydia did have a way of seeing right through him.

“You winced,” she responded.

“I have a bad elbow,” he declared as nonchalantly as possible.

“It was your shoulder,” she said, shooting him a look as she called him out on his bullshit.

“Pain radiates. It does that,” he quickly replied, already making his way to the door so he could just get this over with when Lydia stepped in front of him.

She wasn’t falling for his stupid excuses. She knew something was wrong. He could tell that she was worried about him and didn’t want him to go to Eichen with them but there was no way in hell he was letting her go there alone.

“You are not going without me,” Stiles insisted forcefully. “Remember what happened to Deaton when he talked to Valek?”

“Scott and Kira are going to be there,” she continued to fight because Lydia Martin was the most stubborn person on earth besides him.

“I’m not letting you go to a place where one of the orderlies almost killed you.”

“He almost killed you too!”

“And we’re still alive. See? Teamwork.”

He headed to the door once more but for the second time, Lydia blocked his path.

“Stiles,” she said in a tone that screamed _no nonsense_ or maybe it was _stop lying to me_ or probably a little of both but Stiles knew there was no way he was getting out of this.

“What’s wrong?”

Stiles sighed as he looked everywhere in the room but at her because he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell her what he had done. He couldn’t bear to see the way her gaze would shift once she knew the truth because right now her eyes were so soft as she silently pleaded with him to let her in and he didn’t want to witness the moment that would change.

“Donovon,” he managed to say, the name of the boy who had been haunting him ever since he stared at his lifeless body.

“He’s dead. I...I killed him,” he spat out the words, his heart racing as he said them out loud because now it was real. It was all real and he couldn’t pretend that it was a dream or that it never happened and he would never be able to take them back.

“He came after me and...I..I don’t know. I ran and..it just all happened so fast but I was just trying to get away and next thing I knew he was dead and then the body was gone but Scott said someone was taking the bodies and I don’t know but he’s dead he’s dead because of me I killed him _I killed him_.”

Silence covered them like a blanket as the only thing that could be heard was the sound of Stiles breathing filling the room after finally confessing what had been plaguing his soul since that night.

The second he had started talking he couldn’t stop as he let it all out. His hands were shaking as he eventually looked up at Lydia, almost afraid of what he would find but she wasn’t staring at him like the murderer he was.

“Oh Stiles,” she whispered tenderly and suddenly he was in her arms as the world stood still and for a moment, just a moment, everything was alright.

Before he knew it they were sitting on the bed and tears were streaming down his face and he didn’t even realise that he had started crying and oh god he was soaking her dress but she didn’t seem to care. Stiles let his eyes fall shut as Lydia ran her fingers through his hair and for the first time in what felt like forever, the vines that had wrapped themselves around his lungs loosened and he could breathe again. In Lydia’s arms he found a feeling that almost resembled peace.

_He found something that felt like home._

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said softly and there was nothing more Stiles wanted than to believe her. He wanted to snatch her words from the air and fold them around his heart and let them comfort him. But he couldn’t.

Because this time, Lydia was wrong.

“I’m a killer,” Stiles mumbled into her shoulder, unable to hold the guilt at bay.

“No. Stiles, look at me,” Lydia demanded as she pulled away and forced him to look into her eyes.

She cradled his cheek and Stiles was all too aware of how close they were and that her skin against his sent sparks shooting in every direction and that every nerve ending in his body was on fire.

“What happened was _not_ your fault. He came after you. It was self defence. You can’t blame yourself,” she said, her voice full of conviction.

“It was either him or you. And I’m glad that it’s him. Because if I lost you I would go out of my mind.”

Stiles drew in a breath as he was reminded of similar words he had said to her so long ago. Even now they remained true. Tracy’s attack on Lydia was further proof of that.

Quickly, he pushed that particular thought out of his mind. He didn’t want to think about the way she had looked, lying on the floor surrounded by a pool of her own blood. His entire universe had come so close to unravelling at the seams.

But she was fine now. She was sitting right here in front of him and she was perfectly okay.

“You won’t ever lose me,” he said, forcing just the tiniest of smiles for her.

“Good,” she replied quietly.

And then her arms were around him again and for just a little while, he let himself be free. He let go of all the guilt and terror that had been eating him alive as he leaned into her, his own personal safe haven. Stiles clutched Lydia like he was drowning and she was the only person who could save him. In a way, she was.

Neither of them knew how long they stayed that way, wrapped up in other while the world outside faded away. Because right then nothing else mattered except for them.

As Stiles held on to Lydia, a feeling of warmth took root in his stomach as he began to truly believe that maybe one day, he would be alright again. With Lydia by his side, Stiles Stilinksi found hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I haven't written in like almost three weeks so I'm a bit rusty I hope this wasn't too bad.


End file.
